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Author Topic: You might be an Arizonan if.....  (Read 5348 times)

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Desert Rat

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You might be an Arizonan if.....
« on: 05/31/04 11:40 AM »

MODS, PLEASE LEAVE THIS IN THE ARIZONA SECTION

Found the longer version I was looking for  :4:



You Know You Live in Arizona When...


You buy salsa by the gallon.

Your Christmas decorations include a half a yard of sand and 100 paper bags.

All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October but clear out come the end of April.

You think someone driving while wearing oven mitts is clever.

Most of the restaurants in your town have the first name "El" or "Los."

You think six tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful yard.

You notice your car overheating before you drive it.

Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof.

You can say Hohokam and people don't think you're laughing funny.

You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.

You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River.

You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.

You can say 120 degrees without fainting.

Every other vehicle is a 4x4.

You can be in the snow, and then drive for an hour and it will be more than 100 degrees.

Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer.

You have to go to a fake beach for some fake waves.

People break out coats when the temperature drops below 70.

You discover, in July, it only takes two fingers to drive your car.

The pool can be warmer than you are.

You can make sun tea instantly.

People will drive over 100 miles just to see snow.

You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.

Most people will not drink tap water unless they are under dire conditions.

People with black cars or have black upholstery in their car are automatically assumed to be from out-of-state or nuts.

You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

You realize Valley Fever isn't a disco dance.

You can finish a Big Gulp in 10 minutes and go back for seconds.

The water from the cold water tap is the same temperature as the hot one.

You can (correctly) pronounce the words: "Saguaro," "Tempe," "Gila Bend," "San Xavier," "Canyon de Chelly," "Mogollon Rim," "Cholla," and "Ajo."

It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is moving on the streets.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

Sunscreen is sold year round, kept at the front of the checkout counter, a formula less than 30 SPF is a joke, and you wear it just to go to the Circle K.

Some fool can market mini-misters for joggers and other fools will actually buy them.

Hot-air balloons can't go up, because the air outside is hotter than the air inside.

No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car.

You eat hot chilis to cool your mouth off.

You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.

The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.

You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.

You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.


« Last Edit: 05/31/04 03:03 PM by GreyAvalanche »
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My new ride is a GoManGo Dodge Charger Daytona R/T mods thus far... Rockblocker headlight and tailight kits, MOPAR CAI

Az-Spoiled-Wife

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You might be an Arizonan when.....
« Reply #1 on: 05/31/04 11:45 AM »

lol, those are some good ones grey !!!  :D

 :1:    :1:    :1:
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Az-Spoiled-Wife

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You might be an Arizonan when.....
« Reply #2 on: 05/31/04 11:57 AM »

You can be swimming in your pool when it is 100 + degrees out and still get goosebumps on your body with a lite breeze because the water is "slightly" cooler then the outside air.

It could be 100 degrees on Memorial day and you are surfing the net, heading to the movies or the mall instead of enjoying the sunny outdoors. (unless you have a pool)



« Last Edit: 05/31/04 12:05 PM by azcavfandt »
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azfun

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You might be an Arizonan if.....
« Reply #3 on: 06/12/04 11:05 PM »

Grey,

My wife's uncle in Ohio say Arizonians have it backwards.

We have rivers  and bridges with no water and then we seed the clouds.  ( gee I wonder why)

But you know those snowbirds keep coming back year after year.

Have a good time in Pason all.

Azfun
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nfhjr

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You might be an Arizonan if.....
« Reply #4 on: 06/13/04 07:48 AM »

All of the above, my wife and i were in Tucson in the first week July 01 visiting her sister and family we were staying at a motel the Smuglers Inn on Speedway at 8:30 am it was 105 Deg's and 50% humity but was like 90 deg. here in Phily and in the Foot Hills were her sister lives it was raining.
While driving around i saw my first Avalanche in a Chevrolet Dealer and had to stop and look were the seeds were planted to buy one( don't remember the name of the dealer).
We did just that the last weekend in July with the birthday of June 01
                               8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8)
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Desert Rat

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You might be an Arizonan if.....
« Reply #5 on: 12/12/04 01:14 PM »

found some more...  :4:

It's so hot in Arizona that...
  • the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
  • the potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
  • farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
  • the cows are giving evaporated milk.
  • the trees are whistling for the dogs.
  • you no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
  • you can say 113 degrees without fainting.
  • you eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
  • you can make instant sun tea.
  • you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
  • the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
  • you discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
  • you discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
  • you notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
  • hot water now comes out of both taps.
  • it's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
  • you actually burn your hand opening the car door.
  • you break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.
  • no one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.
  • your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
  • you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
  • a sad Arizonan once prayed, "I wish it would rain - not so much for me, cuz I've seen it -- but for my 7-year-old."
« Last Edit: 12/12/04 01:24 PM by GREY_BULLDOG_AV »
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Remember. You can live in your car, but you can't drive your house.

2003 DGM AV..... RIP 09-10-2005


My new ride is a GoManGo Dodge Charger Daytona R/T mods thus far... Rockblocker headlight and tailight kits, MOPAR CAI

Desert Rat

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You might be an Arizonan if.....
« Reply #6 on: 12/12/04 01:20 PM »

another:

Ode to Arizona
The Devil wanted a place on earth.
Sort of a summer home:
A place to spend his vacation
Whenever he wanted to roam.

So he picked out Arizona.
A place both wretched and rough.
Here the climate was to his liking
And the cowboys were hardened and tough.

He dried up the streams in the canyons
and ordered no rain to fall:
He dried up the lakes in the valleys,
Then baked and scorched it all.

Then over his barren desert
He transplanted shrubs from Hell.
The cactus, thistle and prickly pear --
The climate suited them well.

Now, the home was much to his liking.
But animal life, he had none:
So he created crawling creatures
That all mankind would shun.

First he made the rattlesnake.
With its forked poisonous tongue:
Taught it to strike and rattle
And how to swallow its young.

Then he made Scorpions and Lizards
And the ugly old Horned Toad.
He placed spiders of every description
Under rocks by the side of the road.

Then he ordered the sun to shine hotter.
Hotter and hotter still.
Until even the cactus wilted
And the old Horned Toad looked ill.

Then he gazed on his earthly kingdom.
As any creator would:
He chuckled a little up his sleeve
And admitted that it was good.

'Twas summer now and Satan lay
By a prickly pear to rest.
The sweat rolled off his wearthy brow.
So he took off his coat and vest.

"By Golly," he finally panted
"I did my job too well.
I'm going back where I came from
Arizona is hotter than Hell!"
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Remember. You can live in your car, but you can't drive your house.

2003 DGM AV..... RIP 09-10-2005


My new ride is a GoManGo Dodge Charger Daytona R/T mods thus far... Rockblocker headlight and tailight kits, MOPAR CAI

04avfan

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You might be an Arizonan if.....
« Reply #7 on: 12/13/04 05:47 PM »

All of the above is too true - but then you walk outside Dec 13th and it's a beautiful 80 degress, and it all makes sense!!

Good stuff Grey!

Nick
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Yakmar

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You might be an Arizonan if.....
« Reply #8 on: 12/13/04 05:55 PM »

YOU MIGHT be an ARIZONIAN if....


..... you attend GTG's with GREY-AV!!  ;D  ;) :1:
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avalanCHEVY

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You might be an Arizonan if.....
« Reply #9 on: 12/13/04 05:57 PM »

All of the above is too true - but then you walk outside Dec 13th and it's a beautiful 80 degress, and it all makes sense!!

 ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D

Man, I sure don't miss the Lake Effect Snow in northern Ohio.
Moved from there to AZ in 1978 and never want to go back.  :B:
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Flint4x4

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You might be an Arizonan if.....
« Reply #10 on: 12/13/04 06:10 PM »

I ran my snowblower yesterday, I was having so much fun that when I finished the driveway I stayed outside and built a snowman in my front yard.  8)

you can keep that over 80 degrees stuff
« Last Edit: 12/13/04 06:12 PM by Flint4x4 »
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You might be an Arizonan if.....
« Reply #11 on: 12/13/04 06:21 PM »

I think in Arizona, they use those for sandblasters...
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Flint4x4

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You might be an Arizonan if.....
« Reply #12 on: 12/13/04 06:28 PM »

I think in Arizona, they use those for sandblasters...

My leafblower rated at 195 mph might work as a sandblaster out there, just make sure you clean up any dog doo first.  :2:
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Desert Rat

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You might be an Arizonan if.....
« Reply #13 on: 12/13/04 06:58 PM »



My leafblower rated at 195 mph might work as a sandblaster out there, just make sure you clean up any dog doo first.  :2:

The only reason for a leaf blower here is to dry off the AV after you wash it.... only problem is that when it is 115 outside... by the time you even pick up the blower... the AV is dry.... and covered in water marks...  :C:

I guess thats why I go to AZ Auto Wash and let them deal with it  :4:
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Remember. You can live in your car, but you can't drive your house.

2003 DGM AV..... RIP 09-10-2005


My new ride is a GoManGo Dodge Charger Daytona R/T mods thus far... Rockblocker headlight and tailight kits, MOPAR CAI

Desert Rat

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You might be an Arizonan if.....
« Reply #14 on: 12/13/04 07:00 PM »

YOU MIGHT be an ARIZONIAN if....


..... you attend GTG's with GREY-AV!!  ;D  ;) :1:

 :2:
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Remember. You can live in your car, but you can't drive your house.

2003 DGM AV..... RIP 09-10-2005


My new ride is a GoManGo Dodge Charger Daytona R/T mods thus far... Rockblocker headlight and tailight kits, MOPAR CAI

Desert Rat

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You might be an Arizonan if.....
« Reply #15 on: 12/13/04 07:05 PM »

ok, I know that there are some duplicates there, but in the 2nd list of (you know your in arizona) the best one is

a sad Arizonan once prayed, "I wish it would rain - not so much for me, cuz I've seen it -- but for my 7-year-old."
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Remember. You can live in your car, but you can't drive your house.

2003 DGM AV..... RIP 09-10-2005


My new ride is a GoManGo Dodge Charger Daytona R/T mods thus far... Rockblocker headlight and tailight kits, MOPAR CAI

dav3

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You might be an Arizonan if.....
« Reply #16 on: 12/14/04 03:04 PM »

All too true....lived in Phoenix for 8 years, 4 of those years I drove a truck with no AC and vinyl bench seats  :3:
Bought one of those tweed seat covers just to prevent my skin from instantly searing to the seat in the summer time.  We'd spend our weekends trying to decide which air conditioned mall to hang out in, drove to all the different ones just for the change of scenery.
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Avalanche Fox

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You might be an Arizonan if.....
« Reply #17 on: 12/14/04 03:25 PM »

I loved that poem... can't wait to email it to friends/family members who live out that way :1:
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